Become an emotionally intelligent leader in 5 steps

So your IQ doesn’t indicate you are a genius……..don’t worry!  If you are emotionally intelligent that can help make you a superstar!

become emotionally intelligent in 5 steps








It turns out your emotional intelligence is what can really set you apart from your peers. If you want to be successful you have to be prepared to embrace change and how you go about getting there.

“Emotional aptitude is a “meta-ability”, determining how well we can use whatever other skills we have , including raw intellect .”

Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

The 5 steps to improve your Emotional Intelligence is a starting point. This will help you to learn how to develop and nurture your Emotional Intelligence and to recognize and reach your potential.

1. Are you paying attention…to yourself?

If you are pretending to be someone you are not to be accepted, to fit in, or to get ahead you will always fail. Sometimes it is a challenge to be authentic when you aren’t confident in who you are.
Being self-aware should be a priority. Keeping yourself ‘in the moment’ is always a good grounding exercise. If you choose to be confident, how people see you will also change.

Your ‘me’ checklist:

  • Do you love who you are warts and all?
  • Have you ever been caught out pretending to be someone you are not?
  • Do you consciously communicate honestly and openly at all times?
  • Are you willing to change your default behaviour from what you think others want to see to being your authentic self. (this will take some discipline)
  • Are you able to give yourself a break or does your inner voice challenge you? Always forgive yourself and remember that you are a ‘work in progress’.
    If you answered ‘no’ or even a ‘sometimes’ to any of these checklist points you are not paying enough attention to being the best person you can possibly be.

2. Do you keep your emotions in check?

Letting your emotions play a part in your decision making is dangerous and exhausting.

“A high degree of self regulation is one of the vital parts of EQ.”

says Dr Carolyn MacCann PhD, Psychology lecturer at The Univerity of Sydney.

Managing your emotions will empower you to have better outcomes as you will avoid losing perspective and surrendering to what you can’t control by making impulsive decisions to fix a problem.

You will always face situations you can’t control. What you do have control over is how you respond. A considered response is always a responsible one. How you invest your time and energy is vital to your productivity ….and your sanity.

3. Are you able to walk in other people’s shoes?

One of the most challenging things you need to master is to be able to ‘walk in the other person’s shoes’. Empathy is what makes an ordinary manager an extraordinary leader. Recognizing other people’s moods and emotions though their body language, facial expressions and behaviour gives you an EQ tool kit that will enable you to develop positive and strong relationships both at work and at home.

“Empathy is the experience of understanding another person’s condition from their perspective. You place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling.”

Psychology Today

4. Where is your focus: Short term or long term goals?

An emotionally intelligent leader has the discipline and focus to set and work toward achieving long term goals. Short term goals are usually stepping stones for emotionally intelligent leaders with snack size tasks that rewards themselves and their teams to consistently create a culture that supports a high morale and motivation environment.

Emotionally intelligent leaders are:

• Leaders who are approachable and open at all times to input, ideas and suggestions
• Leaders who leave their ego at the front door and teach others to follow so the same
• Leaders who better understand who they are as leaders and how to work with their team to get results that are both desirable and sustainable
• Leaders who recognize their own and their team’s strengths and weaknesses and use this to nurture a healthy team environment and resilient company culture
• Leaders who have the insight and ability to collaborate, align and manage resources to deliver outcomes for all stakeholders.

5. Are you a social magnet?

To be a social magnet you need to be socially in tune with others. So what does ‘being emotionally intelligent’ look like socially?

Feelings – Change the way you speak to people. Be aware of how they are behaving, identify how they are feeling and frame your conversation to create a safe and friendly social settings where they feel relaxed and open.

Empathy – Recognizing how people are feeling and understanding why they are feeling that way and then responding appropriately will create a non-threatening and trust environment.

Engage – People will be more open with you when you appear to understand them and aren’t dismissive of what they see as important. Put their needs first!

Listen and learn – Discover what people perceive and what they see as real and how that impacts their behaviour and performance. This is helpful to learn how to support and work with that person to empower them to reach their potential.

Share – Respect is earnt by sharing ‘your’ experiences: both failures and successes. This shows you are human and you understand where the other person is coming from, what they need to do to help them grow and overcome the barriers that are holding them back.

Take this FREE EQ test to help you discover more about emotional intelligence. This test is not an accurate scoring of you emotional intelligence but a tool to use as part of your journey of self-development.

Originally posted 2016-01-08 10:35:45.

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